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Reflecting on the good times, instead of focusing on the bad

Originally published 4/20/2012

Losing someone is, in my opinion, the most difficult thing we will ever be faced with in this lifetime. Whether that loss is through death, a parting of ways, a debilitating disease or an accident that may not take our loved one away from us, but changes them completely, it’s sometimes impossible to comprehend. My greatest fear is losing the people in my life that mean the most to me. When this happens, what we fail to see while lost in the middle of desperation, is not all the things that we are going to miss having and doing with our now-lost loved one, but all the amazingness that we were lucky enough to already have.

It’s so easy to succumb to our weaknesses. When the urge to sit on the couch and continue eating potato chips comes on, we mentally take a stand, get up and get our asses to the gym. But when the urge to sit on the couch and curl up internally comes on after the loss of someone or something important in our lives, we see this negative thought pattern as necessary. Mourning is necessary, but it is so much easier when you choose the thoughts you’re going to linger on. You had expectations that are no longer going to be met. That person is not going to be at future events and important moments in your life and that truly sucks. You could, and some people do, choose to focus on only that for very long periods of time. Or, you could focus on all of the amazing times you were able to have and know you never have to let those memories go. The longer and harder you hold on to the what you think ‘should have been’, the longer you are pushing away the beautiful things that already are.

I’m not saying this is easy. It isn’t. We are all given such a short time here on this planet. Mortality creeps up on us whether we acknowledge it or not. Time flies by in the blink of an eye. Kids grow up, parents age, health falters, skin sags and the number on the calendar keeps getting larger and larger regardless of what we do to stop it. This moment, right now, is the only one we’re guaranteed. Take every opportunity you have to do the things that make you happy, be with the people who bring you joy, say ‘I love you’ to the people close to your heart, and realize what’s really important in this life… Family, friends, dreams and love.

What’s making me smile right now:

I love this beautiful quote from Isak Dinesen:

“Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever…”

Published in Uncategorized