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I don’t care if I’m a bad mom.

Can we stop with the ‘I’m such a bad mom’ crap? Just stop. You know you’re not a bad mom. We’ve heard stories of bad moms. They’re the ones who let their children starve while they were shooting heroin in the next room. They’re the ones who sold their children into slavery. If you are reading a mom blog, YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM. Just stop.

That being said, I don’t buy into all the myths of what it takes to be considered a ‘good’ mom. To be honest, I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m completely making this parenting stuff up as I go. But I’m not a bad mom. And neither are you.

I never say the words, “I’m such a bad mom,” because I’m not. Maybe it’s the confidence that comes with age. I’m 38 years old and a first time mom of a toddler. I’ve lived long enough to stop caring what other people think of me. With these years comes the lack of concern for doing what everyone tells me should be done and following the rules. And honestly, there’s so many good choices I make with my kid on a daily basis. I sing to him and dance with him and take him fun places and discipline him and feed him nutritious food and cuddle him and love him every day. But that’s not the point of this blog.

I love my son. But sometimes I put my own needs first (I’m not a bad mom). Sometimes I’m distracted (still not a bad mom). Yesterday I let him play with a makeup brush and it poked him in the eye (not bad mom territory). Last month he hit another child (asshole toddler moment, not a bad mom moment). One time he fell down the stairs because I wasn’t watching him closely (and yet I STILL consider myself a good mom).

I don’t think I’m scarring my son by scrolling through Facebook while he plays with his trains by my side. I swear in front of him, I didn’t breastfeed as long as I ‘should’ have, I don’t buy him new toys very often, I let him stay at daycare even though I get off early some days, I search through the internet instead of watching him build lego towers and sometimes I park him in front of the Disney Channel even though he isn’t yet 2. But I’m a great mom. In fact, I’m a freaking awesome mom. You are too. I promise.


He’s far too cool to be my kid anyway.

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  1. You know, I saw my husband working on the porch last Saturday morning while Max played in the yard, and my first thought was, “how precious is that? he took him outside.” A few minutes later, I got to thinking about how someone might judge me negatively for doing the same thing: she should be watching him! that mom should be paying closer attention! what if that boy eats a piece of dirt! And you know what? I’m over it. I’m a good mom *&* sometimes I check my email.

    • Katie Fokken Katie Fokken

      I love that! XOXO

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